Even in the midst of the deep out breath of Summer, Winter still echoes in my bones.
All of the women in me, were tired.
Weary and bruised to the bone from carrying the weight of all of them on my back. Trying to be everything to everyone was just simply more than I could carry.
I spent much of the Winter in the darkness, seeking to discover the construction of the cage that has constricted me for far too long.
I encountered my hard edges, my shadows, my masks, my unspoken fears, my limitations, my ancestral wounds, and my unresolved pain that I carried around like badges of honor.
I scratched and clawed, wild and feral, until my fingers were bloody. The determination not to lose this fight was primal. I was fighting for the life I long for. The life I know I am meant to have. The gifts I am meant to share.
Along the way, I sensed a small flicker of light burning deep inside my core. The light and truth that all women carry - that centuries ago it became unsafe to shine. We were hunted, shamed and killed for knowing and sharing our gifts. Yet, the more I confronted and dove straight into the darkness of my past and present, the bigger the light began to grow.
I began to meet the me that was buried under all the women I thought I should or needed to be.
As she dismantled herself from others, her strength and courage grew, as did the pile of rubble she so swiftly left behind.
I now stand on the other side. Raw and tender. Strong and Ferocious.
I look back at all the lies others told me about myself piled high to the sky that I once believed. But, no more.
It is time to set this pile on fire. Burning it all down in ceremonial fashion. Dancing around the flames.
I am ready to shine brighter than this fire built upon others' limitations ever will.