I have sat with how to return to here for weeks. I have deliberated. Mulled over it. Questioned it. Then finally, gave into it.
I knew I needed to return in the same way I choose to show up. From a place of truth and transparency. We are all in this transitional time together.
Back on the Summer Solstice, I married my beloved partner. It was such a magical experience, carefully crafted to merge the magic that him and I both hold and carry through life. We wove our hearts and lives together in a sacred ritual, a ceremony that involved all of our guests, delicious food and some Marryoke (you know, karaoke but without the pressure of singing without the artist voice and everyone joining in the dance party). Stay tuned at the end for a photo from our special day.
We were deeply connected, full of joy and high on life.
As the Summer progressed though, I found myself losing my connection to myself and thus, my relationship.
Summer and I have never been best friends. It's deeply extroverted energy is in direct opposition of my deeply introverted energy. So, for that reason plus allowing myself to be pulled out of my normal rhythm and routine for various reasons, including out of fear of losing the farm we caretake caused me to completely lose my sacred connection to myself.
From there, the world at large seemed to be falling apart. With white supremacists marching in Charlottesville; Houston being flooded by Hurricane Harvey; Hurricane Irma destroying islands and flooding parts of Florida; and wild fires up and down the West Coast bringing a constant layer of smoke to our island and, literally, ash on our cars, it was hard for my empathic nature to stay grounded and feel like I had anything to offer you.
In addition in the last month, we found out the farm we caretake will be taken over by the owner's son to create a family farm and we need to move by the end of October (so allowing my boundaries to be run over out of fear earlier in the Summer didn't change the outcome), we had to put my second and last dog to sleep after he become increasingly ill over the Summer, and my husband lost his job.
Literally, everything is shifting for us. Right now, we have no idea where we will be living or were either of us will be working. There are lots of moving parts and quite a bit on the horizon, but nothing in the here and now, yet.
As Fall shifted closer recently, I could feel myself coming back.
- I am back to my morning rituals.
- I am journaling and being hyper vigilant with my mindset and choosing to up level from here instead of falling into the hole I could easily slip into.
- I am choosing to see that the Universe has something bigger and better for us, instead of living in fear.
- I see that care taking for the last year has allowed me space to hide, to not fully show up, and it is time to go big!
As you can see, I am human. I stumble. I fall. I lose myself. And, I know how to find my way back.
I have been through this many times in my life, but each time I lose the connection to myself for less and less time, and now, I know my way back and know who to guide women back, as well.
I have become more and more confident in my skills to support you on your journey as well.
Behind the scenes this Summer I have been working with a few women to Find Their Holy Ground, and their transformation has been nothing short of miraculous.
I am opening up my schedule for 2 women to do this work with me because I want you to be on the other side of where you currently are.
Maya Mendoza said it best. "No amount of security is worth the suffering of a mediocre life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams."
And, if you have been feeling lost in the dark lately, I want to support your journey. Let's talk about how I can best do that. I am here to be of the highest service to you, your soul, and your journey forward.
Let's walk into the Fall and stand in the light together.
XX Nicole Donovan-Wells
PS: This photo was during the ceremony when our friend and officiant was calling in the directions and representing the element of Air, with my 3 other amazing magical Sisters standing and holding each of the other directions.
PPS: I have been making a very special digital course for you over the Summer called Project You: Get Grounded to Bloom, that will be ready for you very very soon! Stay tuned!