Untangling the Ties of Privilege that Bind Me

ties-2.jpg

In my youngest years, I always felt special.  

I grew up thinking it was the oldest child syndrome, where the world revolved around me for my first few years of life before my sister was born.  

My parents tell the story about my first year of life living in Italy.  Apparently, I cried anytime someone who spoke Italian tried to hold me.  Since I don't remember this time in my life, I can only assume that it is part of human nature to be fearful of something different. 

Children, who don't have filters yet react and say things that as we grow up we are taught to quiet, hush, not look at or even acknowledge.  We are literally taught by most people around us to not speak the truth or look at our differences, which only increases the divide that was placed there long ago.  

When you were a child, do you remember when you realized you were different?  

It may have been the language you spoke, the color of your skin, which gender box you were put into, or a religion you were raised in.  Do you recall that moment?  How old were you?  Where were you? And most importantly, how did it make you feel? 

The immersive nature of our family of origin, good, bad or indifferent, shapes the way we see the world, our language and our belief systems due to our inability to filter out truth from myth at young ages. 

As adults, this causes significant challenges in untangling our own inner Truth (with a capital T, the divine deep truths and values we hold) from the “truths” we have been fed from a young age.  

As children, it is inherent for us to seek love, and to do whatever it takes to receive love from those who we are closest to. 

This can show up in the form of being a caretaker to an alcoholic parent to be seen as important to the family.  Or, showing up as the clown in the family to gain or keep the attention on themselves.  The list of ways we adapt as children to feel love is massive.  

Then, as we age and seek acceptance from our peers, at some point our differences make their way into our consciousness.  Perhaps, it was through a traumatic moment of teasing or bullying.  Oftentimes, it is simply someone stating their belief that diminishes your existence.    When that happens, we all sought to conform somehow to be accepted.  

And, here is where this goes deeper. 

Understanding that for myself, as a white woman, I had the privilege of conforming.  I could change my hair, my language, my friends, and I was still going to be more accepted than those with more diversity than me. 

In this last year, I have begun to look hard through my hetero-normative lens of privilege.  My primary focus for the last few years has been to focus on the oppressed community of being female vs taking a long hard look into where my privilege lives.  

I refuse to be caught in the Spiritual Bypass lane.

As I seek to be allies for marginalized and oppressed communities, I will be shifting my own language to fully represent my inner Truth (with a capital T).  This is deep work for all of us since our thoughts, beliefs, and language has been passed down to most likely oppress someone else. 

It may be that you were infused with oppressive beliefs and language around a particular gender, race, sexuality or religion as a child.  This may show up in continuing to marginalize a community or in micro aggressions, that we are being called to address now.  It is time.  

I love all human beings and seek to hold space for those of all races, religions, gender, sexual preferences, ability, class, and lineage.

I will be sifting through my website and shifting my language to be gender neutral and inclusive of all.  

I will be changing some offerings to stay in my own primarily British, Irish and Scandinavian lineage in support of the de-colonization work being done around me.  

This work is big and deep.  What was handed down to us goes back many generations and it is our duty to all fellow human beings we are walking this Earth with, to do the healing work needed to support equality for all.  

I am releasing the ties of what has been past down by my ancestors and society that were meant to keep me small as a woman, and privileged as a white person. 

As I untie each one, I am looking it over, paying attention to what runs through my head and out my mouth, and shifting to language and energy of love, acceptance, inclusivity, and justice for all.  

Huge love to each and every one of you!

Nicole 

[Part 7] Connecting with the Divine

This is the final edition of this 7-part series discussing how Chakras relate to birthing businesses and us growing into Spiritual women and leaders in our community. If you have missed any part of the series, you can find them here: 

[Part 1] Root Chakra: The root of it all

[Part 2] Sacral Chakra: Darkness & healthy boundaries

[Part 3] Solar Plexus Chakra: Standing firmly in who you are

[Part 4] Heart Chakra: The heart of the matter

[Part 5] Throat Chakra: Sharing your unique & authentic message

[Part 6] Third Eye Chakra: Honoring your visions

This past Fall, I was flooded with visions, ideas, insights and a path forward that I hadn't considered before.  This was when the rebrand of my business came through.  I say it came through because I didn't set out to give my business a makeover. 

Along the way, it made me over, as much as I did the work to makeover the container that holds it.  

The visions would come in as I was falling asleep at night, or in the wee hours of the morning.  I would be woken up in the middle of the night with wording for content running through my mind.  I often had to force myself to get up, turn on the lights and write it all down if I wanted to be able to go back to sleep.  

Spirit, the Divine, was grabbing my attention and showing me the way forward that I hadn't imagined for myself; and I was willing to pull the inspirations down and connect them to my everyday reality.

This happened at the very same time that the Mastermind program I was holding and birthing, was working with the Crown Chakra.  As I worked with the women in the program last year, my internal world shifted with each Chakra Business energy we worked with.  Month by month, my work, my offerings, my internal world went deeper.  

As I had worked my way through the year birthing my Mastermind program, I was doing my own internal work along with those in the program.  I began doing deep emotional healing work that was triggered by me being nudged to stand fully in my power.  

I started last year having no idea how the Mastermind program would unfold and come to life, and then it just happened.  

I showed up to hold the container and I truly believe that Spirit worked though me to bring it into physical form - to make it what the Earth Changers Mastermind is today.  

Earth Changers is for those that are carrying a seed of intention, that know they have something big to offer the World, and they are ready to see exactly what that seed they are carrying will sprout and bloom into.  

Whether that business idea is completely formed or you are wishing to plant your seed of an idea that you know you have but have NO idea what it is, this program is for you.  

This is for you if you know you have a calling, yet don't know the exact form it will take yet.  

When I began this business, I had NO idea it would be what it is today.  I could have waited.  I could have let fear hold me back.  I could have continued to make the excuse that I didn't have the money to hire the business coach that I did back in 2014.  But I didn't wait.  I looked fear in the face and said FUCK IT!  I didn't know where it would lead me, but I knew that the freedom that I longed to have in my life wasn't going to happen until I was willing to say YES.  

Connecting with the Divine

The Crown Chakra.  

Have you ever encountered a super flighty person that seemed to always have their heads in the clouds, with ideas constantly coming from them, good ideas even, but nothing ever comes of them?  Their Crown Chakra is likely wide open and they have a deep rich connection with the Divine, yet without doing the complete work to balance all of the Chakras, those inspirations and ideas can't root themselves down into the Earth to grow into something tangible and physical.  

This is the beauty of being willing to do this work.  What good is it to be given messages from the Divine if we can't then figure out what to do with them?  

I know, for myself, for years I was just seeking to ground myself so deeply in the Earth because when I felt myself open up my Crown energy, I found it difficult to stay present and felt like my Spirit would fly away.  That was not helpful for my consistently anxious state at the time.  

Yet, over time, I began to ground myself first, then open up to the energy of the Divine, of above, of the ethers, and slowly begin to allow messages and inspirations in.  

This isn't always perfect.  I am given inspirations that I don't ever do anything with. Though, I have found over time that the ones that are most important will continue to come back into my consciousness, over and over again, until I am willing to ground them through my energetic body and bring them into the physical realm.  

Giving form to something ethereal isn't always easy.  So, if it feels like I am being a bit vague, it is only because the ability to truly experience it happens only when the prior Chakra energy work is done.  

If you feel something pulling at you to explore what I am talking about deeper, listen to it. Honor it.  Pay close attention to the pull from the Divine.

And keep the voice of your ego in check.  It likes to keep us small, quiet and meek for fear it will no longer be useful to us.  

We can no longer afford to stay small and quiet.  Our world is in desperate need for us to step up as Feminine leaders in the world.  It is time to step into your calling.  It is more vital that we are willing to rise, now more than ever.  

We are powerful beyond measure.  You are powerful beyond measure.  I feel it in you.  I see it in you.  

This is your time.  This is your year.  

Join me here!


None of us can afford the assault on our Souls that is happening by standing still.  Let's rise together. 

xx Nicole

[Part 6] Honoring your visions

I was standing over the stove on Saturday night, crying into a pot of Ukrainian borscht I just made.  

The vision was so clear in my mind.  

I saw myself kneeling on the ground out in the yard of our home.  I was surrounded by a dear friend that does Reiki, my veterinarian and my 12 year old lab who was lying in front of me.  I saw how loving, peaceful and beautiful a life could be honored in the crossing to another dimension.  The beauty, the grief and the reality of it all had tears just streaming down my face.  

This is a reality that will play out in the next week or so, as I have made the difficult decision to allow my old friend to pass on.  Nothing about this situation was clear cut, black and white; it was all grey.  So, I used my gifts to get quiet, to listen to what her body and Spirit were telling me and gathered the information I needed to make the best choice for all of us.  

When the vision came, I honored it as a gift, knowing I could do it my way - with my love and gifts holding space for her life and, with gratitude, release her from this dimension.    

Honoring your visions

The Third Eye Chakra. 

The Third Eye Chakra is an energy that holds space for our imaginations and for guidance from Spirit.  

In my story above is an example of the ability of my Third Eye Chakra in a balanced state to show the possible unfoldings of an experience before it occurs.  The benefit of working with this Chakra energy, allowed me to envision an outcome which enabled my body, mind, emotions and Spirit to begin processing the inevitable outcome.  

This comes into play when we are in a state of balance to be able to see where we are heading and how we want our life to look and feel in each moment.  Visualizing is an important part of the manifesting process, so keeping our Third Eye Chakra energy balanced serves us in so many other ways when we are working to attract or step into something new in our lives.  

Strengthening our connection to our Third Eye Chakra allows us to explore different situations and outcomes.

When our energy is out of balance, our vision can be overrun by worst case scenarios and visions that feed into our fears, instead of using visioning to overcoming them.  This leads to anxiety, panic and other issues that can overrun our life when this energy is not working in our favor.  

One of the most important concepts that I explore in relationship to business building and the Third Eye Charka is our ability to clearly see ourselves and our branding.  For myself, this was a combination of being open to the visions I received from Spirit and my ability to imagine the different looks and feels I wanted to capture in my recent rebrand.  

The rooted piece of it all went back to how I wanted myself and others to feel when they entered my website or came across any of my images.  

Only by doing the work with the other Chakras leading up to the Third Eye can these visions come through crystal clear.  

It is the reason why discussing websites isn't something we work with as a group in the EARTH CHANGERS Mastermind until October.  Not that it doesn't come up and can't be done sooner. I just find that people have crystal clear clarity when they do the work leading up to the Third Eye Chakra.  Then it doesn't need to be redone at this point. I am all about working smarter and not harder.  

Can you see yourself standing fully in your Medicine this year?  If so, join me here!


Next week I will wrap up this 7 part series discussing the Crown Chakra and the exquisite beauty that transpires when the energy is able to flow through all the Chakras up through the Crown and back down again.

xx Nicole